The Avoidance Advent Calendar, Week Two
On why there are only 6 tasks a week, 6 new tasks, what process-building looks like, and how much writing on here means to me
Welcome to week two of the Avoidance Advent Calendar. Before we dive right into the tasks for the week, I wanted to answer a quick question I’ve been getting over on Tik Tok, as well as some deeper reflection after our first week of the process on my own end. As always, and knowing there are some of you here who are new–thank you for being here with me, in this small enclave of the internet. With the possible ban of Tik Tok, and with my own progressing wish to have a sustainable, longer form writing process without needing to have much to do with ads, Substack is where my time will be spent, split with Tik Tok for now, and the reason is those of you who have come here.
One question I was getting this weekend was why there were no tasks for the weekend, particularly Saturday. As those of you who have been around for a bit with me, you may already know I make these challenges for both myself and my followers, with the hope that all of us are working on the process of moving towards slow, positive growth while also holding a sense of compassion and tolerance of imperfection. In making this calendar, I give about 6 tasks a week, and in total, by New Year’s Eve, we will have 25 tasks. This allows some space to breathe, and for imperfection to be along on the ride with us. That said, some have noted feeling they are on a roll, feeling motivated, and don’t want a disruption to that. To those folks, I would say you can consider adding a task specific to your life, or I’d invite you to gently ask yourself what it means that a rest day is not allowed. Part of all of my avoidance series includes at least a small moment of self-kindness, neutrality, and/or noticing. This is another reason why it is paired with a small treat, and why we have a rest day—to recognize that perfection and growth-at-all-costs is not the process we are building.
Related to this concept, and as someone who values transparency, I myself have not been perfect with the calendar this week, as in my life in healthcare, online, and personally it has been a bit hectic. This is okay. I will catch up slowly, and my general rule for myself is 80% at the end is the goal. I think it’s important to tell you, dear reader, this truth, not from a place of confession but from a modeling of what it looks like to try to grow and view it as a scientist as an experiment. We must be able to learn along the way, and this experience combats the perfectionist, anxious voice that says we must have the perfect plan and how-to in mind before we can start. Very little in life allows that kind of sterile start, and we have to get in the game and practice and play for most good things.
It is Sunday morning as I write to you, and I’ve lit my tiny stick of cedar incense, a marker to me that it is time to write. It is a frigid morning in Boston, and I can see the bright winter sun playing off the Charles River. It is all very romantic, and as I write to you, I am having a moment of gratitude, of noticing that my dream of becoming a writer is happening, in a way 23 year old Margaret could not have imagined. I’ve already said it, but thank you.
Here are our tasks for the coming week, which I will be posting about on Tik Tok as well, as long as we have the app. Remember: these are 6 tasks for the week. Make them work for you. Maybe one is larger, and you plan to do it on a lower stress day in your life. Maybe two are tiny and you do them both this afternoon. Keep some flexibility in how we do this.
7. It is time, again, to declutter some clothes. We do this every half a year, and the point is not getting rid of as much as possible, but having another honest conversation with your clothes through your senses. What have you not worn in 2 years, because you accidentally shrank it but you once liked it so much and are hoping some miracle will happen where it will go back to its original size overnight? Set a timer for 45 minutes, and see what you can sort through. Designate your charity shop box or big bag that you can throw things into as we continue this month, as clothes are not the only thing we will be sorting. I highly recommend putting on the BBC show, “Sort Out Your Life” in the background as you do this. It’s cheery and inspiring.
8. It is autopay day. Go through your subscriptions to apps on your phone, check your transactions on your card, and declutter. Curse yourself only minimally for the 12.99 monthly photo app charge you didn’t realize was still happening. Now, for recurring expenses, consider whether autopay is up to date across the board. Enjoy the sense of relief of looking at these and not avoiding them.
9. My booktok people are going to hate this, but today is a two parter. Depending on your own style of reading or keeping books, I want you to look through the physical ones you own, and declutter as needed. I enjoy the look of books, but even I don’t want to keep some books I’ve thrifted or thought I would love and now never want to see it again because of how much of a let down it was. Toss these in your charity shop bin. Now, I want you to find the books you have that you have no read, and make a real life, physical TBR pile that is somewhere you will see it. I promise you once you start one of them and get through the first 50 pages, you will remember why you wanted to read it in the first place.
10. This one may be a just me thing, but there is always a linger pot or wire rack or pan that has had food burnt within an inch of its life onto it, and that I avoid using or cover with foil or parchment paper every time I use them. Today is the day you try to clean 2-3 of these, depending how bad they are. If you cannot save them, and you never pick them because of this, it may be time to donate.
11. One thing I think a lot about is how we subtract overwhelm from our daily mundane parts of life and add beauty to them. Related to this, today, is bathroom declutter and, possibly more importantly, wipe down day. We all have that one crusty tube of concealer that hasn’t had a good wipe off in its whole life, or a corner of a drawer that is suspiciously collecting dust? Hair? Old eyeliner pencil shavings? Clean this today, so you don’t have to have a mysteriously unpleasant interaction with it each day.
12. In Montessori styles of parenting/teaching, there is this concept of a toy rotation, and I use it on my adult self but with my mugs and water bottles. Find a box, and a place you can tuck away ones you don’t feel like using right now, but will when you refind them in 6 months. Simplify your cabinet space, and give a gift to future you by feeling like you have new mugs or waterbottles in half a year when you pull the box back out.
Let me know how this is going for you, where the experiment is a bit awry, and/or what you’re learning about yourself in this process.
Finally, if you enjoy my writing here or on Tik Tok, one way to support is to become a paid subscriber, which is 10$ a month. I love writing, and I hate graphic design, so writing my monthly journals as weekly substack newsletters has been a much more enjoyable process, and I appreciate all of you who already help support my writing and creative work on here through subscriptions. I truly hate most ads, and being able to just write, not mess around with Canva, and not have to do ads is truly a gift.
Take care, and I’ll see you on TT!
Xoxo,
Margaret of Bad Art Every Day
I gasped with delight when I saw your newsletter arrive this morning and I was not disappointed. It’s nice to hear your voice in this longer form where you can be descriptive and creative with your words. Thank you for taking the time to do this. I’m working towards making Substack a habit and hope to subscribe in the new year. It’s a good work you’re doing here.